under the ( ( ( r a d a r ) ) )

Instinctively I sense that soon there will be a collapse of my mind and body not unless I do some necessary maintenance. People will notice a slight change in themselves that disrupts their equilibrium and I am no exception. As of right now I feel like I am breaking down so I have to quickly dismantle myself in order for me to be able to put myself back together good as new before the damages are no longer repairable. It's a long process but it can be accelerated with the right amount of motivation. The sources are infinite but hard to notice sometimes because the mind and body is so overwhelmed by the tasks at hand. The best solution is to slow everything down but how can we if we feel like we're running out of time? So I think I have to first speed things up a bit then bring it down a notch once I've caught up with the pack. Priorities get compromised and the more important things are left undone so I have to list down the things I really have to take care of or actually, they are things that I should have taken care of a long time ago.

1. Get my medical certificate from Dr. Rivera's office


2. Create a make up duty form and get the respected signatures


3. Pay for my midterm tuition


4. Study hard for my exams next week


5. Get my NCM reply slipped signed by guardian and passed to Ms. Pama


6. Buy a new white board for my room


7. Get a round to flat socket converter for my stereo


8. Buy rugby so I can fix the damage on my desk

"Not The Sun" - Brand New

Please make the technology
So I can turn up your love like some cold machine
Don't feed me scraps from your bed
I won't be the stray coming back just to be fed

I'll be wait
Come and seal my fate, Marie
Just pretend that you want me

To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my

Well don't be that note I can't hold
Well don't be that joke that I told and told 'til it got old
Don't be that hand 'round my throat so I can't breathe (so I can't breathe)
Say you're my friend but why won't you be my family?

And if you break, just don't tell me

To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my bait, to be my bait

To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my dream

Tell me you know what I mean (Prove me wrong)
You set on me but you are not the sun
You are not the sun (How do I know who I am?)

(Burn it down) Outside your cold lips again
(Come around) You set on me but you are not the sun
You are not the sun

Just pretend that you love me

And be my bait, to be my bait
To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my bait, to be my bait
To be my

another GO around

So there's nothing left to lose, is that the best reason you've got? A serious attitude doesn't get you very far because the stress will surely slowly sink in before you know it, so just relax, breathe, and take it all in. Relationships aren't meant to be the main course, they are just the side orders, the french fries, the kalamari, the hot wings, you know what i mean. I've got a girlfriend that for once in my life I actually want to take seriously but luckily she reminded me not to. I have to make time for myself and my responsibilities as a nursing student, oh yeah who the hell am I anyways? I'm sorry I'm bad with first impressions, how rude of me, I totally forgot to introduce myself.

love is NOT the burger..

I am Joseand Jay but my friends call me Jake and I am a 21 year old 3rd year student in Riverside College in Bacolod City, Philippines. This is the city where I was born but I didn't live here all my life. I consider my home town to be in Diamond Bar California because that's where I spent most of my life (1993-2005).

I felt like I wasn't going anywhere over there because I was into all the typical things that most troubled California teens are into. I played computer games, partied, drank, smoke cigarettes and a lot of chronic (very potent marijuanna and also very expensive), experimented with drugs but worst of all I wasn't inspired to learn. Nothing to proud about really, but that's the truth. I learned a lot of bad things over there and got into some trouble with the law.

After I finished a year and a half worth of probation, me, my mother and a couple of her friends went to visit our families in the Philippines on March 2005 and it was my first visit in almost 10 years. After seeing all my cousins, aunts, uncles and other close relatives for the first time in a very long time I realized so many things, especially the fact that I've wasted more than enough time. I sort of had an epiphany, actually yes I did. So I decided that I think I would be better off if I attend college over here so I can just get away from all my bad habits, friends, and the dangerous lifestyle I was living.

I took my GED exam when I came back from our vacation and passed, May 2005 I left everything I knew and loved and went back to where I started. They say you'll never know where you're going unless you know where you've been. Boy were they right. I had my reasons and fortunately everything worked out for the better. Thank God. I haven't had a cigarette in over 2 years, the last time was March 28, 2005 and I rarely drink and never get drunk to the point where I don't know what I'm doing.. well maybe once but I think I was more desperate than drunk. Drugs, I did extacy when I went back home in 2005 on New Years Eve when I attended my first rave called Together As One but I really regret I actually did that. I also smoked marijuanna occasionally during that trip. My trip back home for the holidays in 2006 was a lot better though, I got high once and I hated it. I spent my time mostly with my family and it was time well spent. So yeah, I'm a better person now than what I was before but I still have a lot of improvements to make and things to learn.

So right now I am a 3rd year Nursing student in Riverside College and I have my goals I am striving to achive and my dreams that i am holding on to with all my strength. I find myself today in a place where I am not so different but more importantly a place where I am not so alone. I've learned how to adapt to this environment and how to deal with the people here in a respectable manner. You tend to appreciate the simple things in life over here and its also easier to be humble. I always do a little soul searching here and there and I find what I'm looking for more than half od the time. I plan on going back home after I graduate and study in Sacramento to become a nurse anesthetist because I have a cousin in prison over there that I want to attend to. So there you have my past, present and future..

As for my personality, I am a pretty weird but in a good way and I am also very playful. I don't try to take things too seriously unless I really have to. My memory is distorted and I have a hard time remembering things I just learned, but after I get something down, I got it down for good. I love music and to the point where I will most likely go insane without it. I'm a nature lover at heart and I am very adventurous. I am not afraid to talk to people and ask questions and find excitement speaking or performing in front of crowds. I'm a pretty outgoing guy and I am responsible enough to be a good leader. I love to make people laugh the best way I know how which is to simply give some GRR. I don't know what else to say really, I'm not one to boast and I can't really speak for myself because I tend condradict myself sometimes but I really try not to be too much of a hypocrit. Overall I would just say I'm a friendly fun-loving person.

So this is just to get things started I guess. I'll blog about what's really important later on. Oh yeah I'm also an aspiring journalist, so this is just a way of developing my skills and potential as a writer as well as multiple ventilation purposes. So that's about it. I usually like to end things saying something randomly cool.. so everyone...

Feed the fire.